She was sweet, intelligent and different, nowhere close to ordinary. How could he have said no for a movie? So, they took a cab to PVR Plaza, CP where he had booked corner seats, obviously, without keeping her in the know.
She whispered in his ear that her friends see stark similarities between her and the protagonist’s wife (Amy), and that he should be worried. He couldn’t help but ignore and laugh, because she was too sweet and nice to act like Amy (who showed symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder)
They kissed before the movie ended.
He couldn’t ever fully understand her emotions and she was fed up of his expectations. Together, they decided to quit the relationship.
He was diagnosed with three emotional stress related health problems. The first, took away a few of his hearing frequencies, the second his digestive system and the third his sense of personal identity.
He realized that her friends weren’t entirely wrong. Outcomes matched! She was the gone girl!
My life has been enlightened since I met this beautiful Mallu chic, however this does not come without its own set of pitfalls. Read on to find out what they are:
Disclaimer: All the views expressed below are derived from my own experience. Try them at home at your own expense.
- She is a confused Indian: Is she from a forbidden country in the Middle East? Does she have a fancy accent? Does she think too high of herself? Am I confusing you? Ok. Have you ever heard her make the following remark:
‘McDonald’s!, who eats at McDonald’s?’
Well, now you know you’re in big trouble.
- The great wall of language barriers: If your chic does not speak Hindi and you are a north Indian guy like me you have three options:
a. You take a course on sign language
b. You learn Malayalam
c. You pretend to be dumb (which kind of compliments the sign language point 😉 )
- Turmoil of the cuisines: Food for her is sometimes just a cup of coffee or a bag of chips. Yeah that chapati and dal which was always a complete meal for you would now be a distant dream 😉
Also, be prepared for rice, a lot of rice.
- What is love? If she happens to compete with you in every single hobby of your and beats the shit out of you then just admit that your game is over. You definitely need to go try your luck on someone else now! And BTW love = competition for her 😉
Hope that you now know what things you need to take care of in case you want to date a Mallu chic. All the best!
Recently I tried my hands on sculpting. This is what came out.
It was so much fun sculpting for the first time. All you need is some clay and modelling tools (those small sticks in yellow). BTW I could cot complete the head ‘coz I fell short of clay. Check out this space for more creative stuff 😀
And yeah, if you’re planning to try your hands on sculpting here’s the best video I found. Enjoy!